Costly Forgiveness

September 11, 2011 / Thirteenth Sunday After Pentecost

Matthew 18:21-35

There’s no doubt that Peter is my favorite disciple.  Like the other disciples, he has seen Jesus heal the sick and cast out demons.  He has eaten with sinners and tax collectors.  He has witnessed miracles and heard Jesus teach.  Like the other disciples, Peter has been there day in and day out since the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry.  But Peter is different.  Peter is the one who is bold enough to ask Jesus to explain the parables.  Peter is the one with the courage to get out of the boat and try walking on water.  Peter is the one with the faith to say to Jesus, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God” (16:16).  But more than that, Peter is the one who loves Jesus so much that when Jesus starts talking about the cross Peter cries “No! This must never happen to you!”  And Peter is the one who wants to capture the moment on the mountain of transfiguration by building three tents – one for Jesus, one for Elijah, and one for Moses.  Peter is my favorite disciple because he always tries hard, even if he doesn’t always get it right.  Peter’s heart is in the right place.  He is willing to ask the difficult questions.  Peter is my favorite disciple because he is so human.

Prior to our gospel reading today, Jesus has been talking about conflict in the church and how to deal with sinners.  Jesus has made it clear that our heavenly Father does not want anyone to be lost – certainly this is in keeping with everything Peter has seen Jesus do and heard Jesus teach.  God loves everyone and wants to welcome everyone into the kingdom.  So Peter comes to Jesus with a good question: “Lord, if a brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive?”  In this question we can hear Peter wrestling with the implications of Jesus’ teaching and ministry – we are called to be a people who forgive.  So Peter answers his own question by wondering, “As many as seven times?”  I’m sure as he said that he was thinking, “That is a lot!”  Forgiving someone who has sinned against us even once is hard, but Peter gets that following Jesus calls for more.  Peter has experienced God’s grace.  Could Jesus be asking us to forgive as many as seven times?

Seven is a perfect number.  God created the universe in seven days, so seven is a complete number.  Forgiving seven times seems like such a good answer – it gives the sinner an ideal number of chances to repent.  And it asks a lot of the person who forgives.  I’m sure Peter thought that was a good answer.  But Jesus replies, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven or seventy times seven times.”  In other words we are called to forgive. Period.

Think for a minute of a person who has deeply hurt you.  Perhaps the person has hurt you by lying or cheating.  Perhaps the person has hurt you because the person has hurt someone you love.  Perhaps the hurt has occurred because of that person’s selfishness or thoughtlessness.  Perhaps the hurt is much deeper and more complex.  Jesus is saying to you that no matter what that person has done, you are called to forgive.  Period.

The problem with this is that it makes it sound like us Christians are doormats who can be walked all over.  It doesn’t matter what you do to me, I’ll forgive you.  Hurt me as much as you can – I’ll forgive you.  Take away everything I have, everything I am – I’ll forgive you.  And even if you crush me every day, at the end of the day I will forgive you.  Forgiveness is not that simple!

Unfortunately sometimes this is how this passage is literally interpreted.  I recall the story of a woman who came to her pastor because her husband had hit her the night before.  And the pastor told the woman that the Christian thing to do was to go home and forgive her husband.  A week or two later this happened again, and again the pastor implored her to forgive.  And not long after that, the woman was back in her pastor’s office, this time with visible bruises.  And the pastor said, “Jesus tells us to forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.  Go home and forgive him.”

No, no, no!  While forgiveness is central to who we are as Christians, and we are called to forgive, that pastor pulled these verses out of context.  The verses leading up to this passage teach us how to deal with sin: If a brother or sister sins against you, confront him or her with the sin.  If the person fails to listen and repent then bring a witness.  If the person still fails to listen tell it to the church.  If the person continues to refuse to listen and will not repent then throw him or her out – treat that person like a Gentile or a tax collector.  Treat that person the way Jesus treats the Gentiles and the tax collectors and teach them and heal them.  Show them God’s grace that they might repent.

Forgiveness without repentance will never lead to reconciliation.  Christians are not doormats – we are a people who long for justice.  But too often we are cowards.  Often we’d rather tell the woman to go home and forgive her husband than delve into the hard conversations that lead to true healing and forgiveness.  We want justice, but not always at the risk of revealing our own weaknesses – our own fears – our own sins.  We want to know God’s abundant mercy, but preferably without having to be held accountable for our own sin.  We long for justice, but we want easy answers.

The truth is true forgiveness is costly.  Look at the parable Jesus tells: A king confronts a slave who owes an enormous amount of money.  To put things in perspective, if the slave made ten dollars an hour he would owe the king three billion dollars.  There is no way the slave will ever be able to pay the debt – it is an inconceivably large sum.  The slave begs for mercy and the king has mercy, forgiving the entire debt.  I don’t know about you, but if I had a debt of even three thousand dollars forgiven I would be enormously grateful.  And this slave has been forgiven a debt that looks more like the national debt than a personal debt.  You’d think he’d leave the king’s presence rejoicing and embracing this newfound freedom.

Instead, the slave comes upon another slave who owes him a relatively small sum – something much closer to three thousand dollars.  And the slave who has been forgiven this enormous debt refuses to forgive this small debt and throws his fellow slave into prison until he can pay.  Now notice what happens.  His fellow slaves do not ignore this injustice.  His fellow slaves do not look the other way.  Instead they hold him accountable and report his behavior back to the king.  And the king hands him over to be tortured for all eternity because there is no way he will ever pay his entire debt.

The slave who was forgiven this enormous debt did not listen and repent.  The slave who was forgiven this incredible debt did not go out and do the same for others.  And his brothers and sisters called him on it.  They held him accountable for his behavior.  God’s grace is not cheap grace.  God’s mercy is always tied to God’s justice.  God’s forgiveness comes at a high cost.

The truth is our sin is like the sin of that slave.  God has given us so much – God has given us everything we have.  And yet we have turned away from God and relied on ourselves.  We have failed to love others.  We have sinned in thought, word, and deed.  We have done things we shouldn’t have done and we have failed to do things we should have done.  And this isn’t a once in a lifetime occurrence – we mess up every day, every hour, every minute.  We are so human, with minds that wander and eyes that stray.  We are so caught up in these imperfect bodies that have needs and desires that cause us to sin.  Our sin is like the sin of that slave – so enormous that we can never pay the debt on our own.

But someone has to pay the debt, otherwise justice isn’t served.  If God simply forgives us our sins without expecting anything in return, then we will not grasp the enormity of the gift we have been given.  Like the slave, we’ll go out and fail to forgive a fellow sinner.  If we are to experience true forgiveness, someone has to pay the price for our sins since we are not able to.  But no human could ever pay that price – it is too high.  Only God can pay that price.  And here is the incredible gift of our faith – it is only because of Jesus who was fully human and fully God that that debt could ever be paid.  Jesus paid that price for our sins on the cross.  The one who was without sin took on the full weight of sin for us, setting us free.  That freedom came at an incredibly high price – the death of God’s own Son. 

God forgave our sins once and for all in Jesus’ name.  And we have a choice: to repent and turn back to God, or to ignore this incredible gift.   We have a choice: to embrace God’s forgiveness and go out and forgive others, or to deny what Jesus has done for us on the cross.  We have a choice: to love one another and hold each other accountable, or to look the other way when someone sins because tough love is, well, tough.

We are called to forgive our brothers and sisters.  Period.  But notice that the king did not forgive the slave until the king had pointed out the debt and the slave had asked for mercy.  The slave then went out and pointed out the debt of another slave, and that slave asked for mercy.  Forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand with truth-telling and accountability.  God’s abundant mercy is forever linked to God’s justice.  Grace is free but it is not cheap.

Have you ever confronted a person with his or her sin, either alone, or with a witness?  If you have, you know that most of us want mercy.  Most people long for forgiveness and reconciliation.  Most people are willing to be held accountable and can hardly believe it when they are forgiven.  There are some hardened criminals who only seek forgiveness as they are awaiting execution, if then; but most people want to experience grace.  They want to be forgiven.  They want to start again.  God forgave our sins once and for all in Jesus’ name.  Are you prepared to go out and do the same?